The Three Musketeers

Finding myself back either back in bed or on the sofa is once again challenging me to stay positive. The skies are gray, my mood is gray, and in a crash of this caliber, my tendency is to wallow in a bit of self pity.....a waste of precious energy of course. I have spent time looking back to see if there were warning signs that this was coming, and to ask myself what I could have done differently. I have silenced my inner critic and am bending an ear to my Gentle Observer, Encourager, and Cheerleader ~ The Three Musketeers inside me that are clamoring to be heard.

When giving a voice to my Gentle Observer, I realize that there were some warning signs of an impending crash....such as finding myself unable to sleep past 6am, waking up wired and yet not wanting to get out of bed, and a need to keep myself occupied....not being able to concentrate on just the TV but needing a book in my hand to fill in during commercials, or the remote for surfing the channels. I recall saying a few times over the past couple of weeks, "I need to rest". "I am so stressed." And there was one very telling thought that brought me up short..."Now, what is it that I am worrying about so much??" I was so anxious and my brain fog so thick I could not remember what was causing me all the worry. Looking back to when the crash came closer to knocking me for a loop, I now realize that my emotions were all over the board with a poor me attitude coming into play at times. These are observations not criticisms and will give me insights that will help me in the future.

"I do not understand at all the mystery of grace ~

only that it meets us where we are

but does not leave us where it found us."

My Gentle Observer, I will call her Grace, is able to present me with teachable moments. She gently guides me not only on my journey to healing, but in all aspects of my life. She sees clearly with eyes of love and she speaks the truth without judgment. Grace is caring, forgiving, and is able to say what I need to hear without making me feel rejection, shame, or despair. She is a good friend and gentle teacher.

"We should seize every opportunity to give encouragement.

Encouragement is oxygen for the soul."

My Encourager , I will call her Esther, is in my corner! She reminds me that I am not alone, and that I have done a good job with all that I am dealing with. She affirms to me that this journey is as important as the destination....and that it is a marathon not a sprint. She encouraged me to keep moving forward ~ searching, learning, growing, and healing. Where would I be without her?

"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up

and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.

You wait and watch and work. You don't give up."

Then there is my Cheerleader~ Hope. She echos Obama's campaign motto...."YES we can! YES we can!" as she gives me the HOPE I need to forge ahead. YES, we can get better! YES, we can heal! YES we can have a life of purpose! We can live believe! YES, we can, we can, we can! She gives me the energy I need to keep going. Hope gives me the attitude I need to live with acceptance without falling into resignation. Acceptance and Hope are teammates.

With Grace, Esther, and Hope supporting me, there is ample opportunity for healing. Along with my friends, family, and comforts of home, The Three Musketeers are surrounding me with just what I need.in my life..a gentle observer, an encourager, and a cheerleader.