Today it is cold.....24 degrees.....I can see the sun .....but I can also see a few large snowflakes drifting slowly down to the ground. This is unusual for us, and in fact it is supposed to be back up to 60 by Sunday...so they say! It is a good day to snuggle under my Woolie ~ for more reasons than the weather!
Lyme and CFS: I have been lamenting Joel's and my poor health lately. We are struggling. Joel can no longer take the massive dose of Cefoxime ~ it makes him unable to function at all and muscle testing says it is harmful for his body. He is taking Zithromax at 1,000 this week along with 500 of Cef and that is making him feel crappy again. The antibiotics (abx) are taking a toll on my body with yeast and bacteria infections continuing to plague me. I know Babesia and Bart are dying...Lyme seems to be testing steady and not dying for the past few months. I am just so tired of taking abx and having die off and feeling horrible. Poor me....poor me...!
Because of having Lyme, co-infections and CFS, we find ourselves consumed by getting through the days and making good decisions for our recovery...Do we need to look at the herbal protocol? Do we need more activity or less? How much do we need to rest? What else do we need to do to help our bodies fight this battle? Example: Joel felt somewhat okay and cut some branches down Sunday afternoon, having gone to church Sunday morning. He is still trying to recover from those two activities in one day. I am in a crash due to more activity and stress........
Which is another lament! We are still dealing with a family situation which is causing all of us a great deal of stress because it involves children. We must protect the innocent. We cannot avoid this situation and must deal with it, but finding a way of letting go and letting God is necessary for all involved. Focusing on the Provider instead of the problem. It does not take much to make a person realize we really have little control in our lives. We do what we can to be able to lay our head down on our pillow at night and sleep, but we are not in charge! God is!
It is a stressful time at Joel's congregation with only one pastor working now. He has a call in to our Bishop as he tries to make sense of what would be best for everyone involved. We are still waiting for his first disability check but are giving thanks that he has been approved for short term disability. Once again, we have a choice...do we focus on the problem or the Provider?
I am struggling. Struggling with emotions that want to drag me down. Struggling with Joel and I being so sick in the autumn season of our lives. It makes me so sad. Today I don't want to engage in the war on Lyme. So I am going to read A Pace of Grace, watch mindless TV, and eat some comfort food. I am going to focus on being the gentle observer, encourager, and cheerleader I need! I am going to focus on the Provider and not all the problems. And I am going to tell myself what Joel and I tell each other on tough days...."It will be okay!"
Welcome!
I hope you find my writings interesting and inspirational. They are often filled with emotion because I write without many filters, and they are interwoven with my faith because I know no other way to live. May you find tidbits of information, a dash of humor, and much encouragement here. May this place be a sanctuary for your soul.
I hope you find my writings interesting and inspirational. They are often filled with emotion because I write without many filters, and they are interwoven with my faith because I know no other way to live. May you find tidbits of information, a dash of humor, and much encouragement here. May this place be a sanctuary for your soul.
Having lived with chronic illnesses for many years, I have spent a great deal of time viewing the world from my living room window. Being homebound, I have created an important sanctuary for myself. On my sofa I have fluffy pillows and a warm wool comforter affectionately named, "Woolie" that keeps me warm in the fall and winter, or during Lyme and CFS crashes. In front of me is my coffee table that holds my writing materials, remotes, cordless phone, etc. There is a photo of our family, and a photo of our oldest son and his friends in their police uniforms, to remind me to pray for their safety. The lower shelf is overflowing with stacks of books, papers, my Bible, and articles I am reading at the moment. I have easy access to my TV, stereo, and cds, and I am only a short distance from the kitchen and bathroom. My recliner is close by with my laptop "Libby" right next to it. It is a good place to be.
There is a beautiful view into our backyard, where squirrels, rabbits, robins, cardinals, finches, morning doves, goldfinches, and sparrows gather. Quite often a deer or two will cut a path through our connecting yards for us to enjoy. Trees, flowers, and bushes brighten the landscape. I have watched this view change from season to season, and never tire of its beauty. Even though at times I get tired of living life mostly from my living room, how safe and cozy I feel in my sanctuary. I am blessed.
There is a beautiful view into our backyard, where squirrels, rabbits, robins, cardinals, finches, morning doves, goldfinches, and sparrows gather. Quite often a deer or two will cut a path through our connecting yards for us to enjoy. Trees, flowers, and bushes brighten the landscape. I have watched this view change from season to season, and never tire of its beauty. Even though at times I get tired of living life mostly from my living room, how safe and cozy I feel in my sanctuary. I am blessed.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
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8 comments:
Hugs from Joanne. have a browse through my garden and hope it helps lift your spirits.
Keep warm Lyme doesn't like heat rest and hpoefully the Great Provider will get his skates on with ME/CFS/Lyme and help find some answers so so many of his flock can ease their sufferring.
I have much faith in XMRV being involved in many more cases of what is commonly thought as autoimmune illnesses I have never liked the idea of the body attacking itself for no reason it has to be an infection whether viral or bacterial or sometimes both.How many people are put on high dose steroids when that is the very last thing they need.
One day, one day.
I'm sorry you are both struggling in so many ways. Trials always seem to run in packs, don't they?
Praying for healing, comfort, and peace that passes understanding.
Gentle hugs, Lisa
I'm relating to a couple of things in your post: the constant battle with yeast infections, and how to 'detach with love' when there are children involved.
The first is just a nuisance, it's the second one that's the wrencher. I have to be very careful to watch my own agenda if I am going to take any action. Even if that action is just giving information to the right people. If I'm wrong in my assessment of the situation I could be making things much worse. But, if I do nothing and I'm right, then the ramifications of doing nothing will be with that child for life.
Sounds like you and Joel are having a similar dialogue. It's a tough one.
Gentle hugs from across the sea to both of you.
My heart goes out to you Renee. You have a lot on your plate.
I'm still trying to catch up on my blog reading so I don't know the situation you are referring to but it sounds heart wrenching (to borrow Jo's great word).
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Joel.
Gentle Hugs-
Terri
Hi Joanne
I do enjoy bowsing through your garden! Such beautiful flowers...Yes, I do try to keep warm with my Woolie and a rice sock I heat up in the microwave to put by my feet! I have heard Lyme do not like heat.
Thanks for your prayers, Lisa. I am praying for you and for your home to sell too.
It is a tough dialogue and so hard to detach with love when children are involved. We have been struggling for the past 5 weeks now with this situation, and we are starting to see a light at the end of a dark tunnel...sometimes we just have to walk in the dark trusting that we will be led in the right direction. Many thanks for your gentle hugs.
Hi Terri
Due to family requests I have not been very clear about the situation we find ourselves involved with. We just keep praying for God to make the way clear for all involved...and for protection for the precious litle ones who are innocent in this.
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